It feels so good to connect with another human being and discover all of things that you have in common. And while we think these relationships will last forever, most of the time this is not the case. Actually, studies have shown that we lose half of the friendships we create within seven years and replace them with new ones.
So why don’t some friendships last?
Here are 5 reasons why friends aren’t always forever.
1. Living far apart.
When you live far away from your friends, it takes effort to maintain the relationship on both sides. Not being able to see each other often requires a commitment to stay in touch; which some people don’t do very well. The demands of life often get in the way of friendships that are right around the corner, so it’s even more challenging to keep the ones that are long-distance.
Nowadays we have texting and social media to help us better communicate, but even that can seem like too much effort for some. Distance is a good indicator of how much a friend loves you, and let’s just say, I speak from experience.
2. Different types of lifestyles.
When people meet it’s generally because they are connected to the same things, whether it be through school, work or a group they’ve joined. So once that initial way of connection ends, there’s a very good chance that friendship will also slowly dissipate.
This is very natural process, as an example, it’s rare to still keep in touch with friends from high school consistently. People grow and evolve as they make their way through life and commonalities change. We continue to search out friendships that match our lifestyles so that we can better understand each other.
3. Different expectations
Sometimes we have different expectations from our friendships that ultimately takes a toll on them. While one friend may feel hurt that she hasn’t seen you in months, the other might be completely fulfilled by daily texts. Communication is key to all relationships, but whether the issue, if the expectations are not met by both parties, the friendship will eventually unwind.
4. Our other relationships
When it’s just the two of you feeling like you could take over the world together it feels like a forever friendship. But when you have to start prioritizing your other relationships, like with your partner and juggling your kids, that forever friend may not understand.
Although true friends are understanding and willing to make effort to maintain the bond, some may not feel like they’re getting what they need from the relationship anymore. This will ultimately cause the friendship to wither.
Realizations
If you take nothing else from this piece, please remember this, it’s ok to make the decision to end a friendship no matter how long you’ve been friends. Sometimes it take awhile to realize who someone truly is and the realization that you’re not a healthy match. Choose your friends wisely, your health depends on it.
When you start to really understand who you want to surround yourself with, you’ll find the courage to be honest about your friendships. This is natural, normal and ok. I will also say, I personally feel it’s important to tell the truth and communicate this to your friend no matter how hard it might be.
Write a letter or make that phone call. It’s difficult, but you never know, your friend might be feeling the same way. Wishing each other well is the healthy way to end a friendship.
Final thoughts
Giving thoughtful time and effort to your friendships will keep them flourishing, but it’s also important to remember that not all will last forever. The positive way to look at this is we learn something from everyone who has been in our lives, remember those lessons and cherish the memories you’ve shared.
